Accepting Your HIV Status: How it Affects Your Relationships?

: I am a Dating adviser, and my goal is to help those who are HIV Positive and help educate those who are negative. Here are some essential things to be considered when you are HIV positive

Closing Yourself to good people because of insecurity:

What happens if you can't accept your HIV status? And that is exactly what I want to show you particularly. I want to focus on how not taking your HIV status can affect your relationships meaning with partners because you could be doing something that's hurting yourself without even realizing it, and then you realize your mistake once. it's already a little bit too late, so I just want to prevent you from making these mistakes. so you're not put in these uncomfortable, undesirable situations, i think what I'm going to say can actually apply to a lot of people who have something quote-unquote unwanted, and what I mean is,

For example, being HIV positive or maybe you can't have kids in the future or having a mental health illness. I'm listening to these things not saying that there's something inherently wrong with them I'm just saying that we painted in our heads that there's something undesirable about them that no one in the world out there would want anything to do with us because we have these things which is totally not the case at all.

It's not true before we begin as a disclaimer i am not a psychologist orthe rapist by profession; I'm just speaking from my own experiences and opinions so if you're someone who's really struggling with dealing or coping with your HIV status and you have severe issues because of that then i highly recommend that you talk to a trained professional. if I could sum up everything we're going to talk about today, it is learning how to accept yourself. Others can take you, and then also when you can't receive your HIV status, and you're closing the door on a lot of good people in your life and opening the door for many bad people.

Read More: How TO Improve Your HIV Dating Life

If you're HIV positive, you've probably thought of why anyone wants me because i have HIV. Why would that guy like me? If there's a girl right over there and she's HIV negative, why would he want meat at this stage? You're ready to let HIV define who you are. You're building your self-worth based on your HIV diagnosis. You're internalizing these thoughts. You're building it up in your head. You're building it out of proportion. You are making it a problem and creating a lot of unnecessary anxiety and where does this bring you? It brings you to become a person that's super insecure.

So how does this affect you? Let's say you're dating around and you finally meet a nice guy I mean, he's cute, funny, smart. He's pretty much the whole package. You can't go wrong with him. actually like each other like come on how often does that actually happen you know what I mean but then the thoughts start coming in you start doubting yourself.

 

I have HIV. He won't accept me for that. He's not going to like the fact that I'm HIV positive. so what do you do you pull away you break the contact. it's easy for you to protect yourself and not face the potential rejection when you do tell him I get it. so you stop talking to him and leave him pretty confused and wondering what's going on but you don't give any explanation at all. you just leave so what happened here you had such a great guy, and you just let him go like why ask yourself why the well simple answer you let your insecurity get the best of you.

you were the one who made the decision that this relationship should not continue, he had no say what if you just gave him a chance and told him you were HIV positive. He was okay with it, but you didn't even do that you just decided for the relationship for both of you that this isn't going to continue; this isn't going to go any farther. 

How is that fair to you? How is that fair to him? Why would you do that i mean you potentially had a really good thing going there where you could have been super happy. So why did you do that? Why didn't he even know you had HIV. You just assumed he wouldn't be okay with it. you didn't even give him the chance to listen do you feel like you are less worthy like because you're HIV positive, you're less of a human being like what is it about him that makes you feel so insecure? Is it because of the virus itself? like you're human with the virus, which makes you less human, or is it because of the stigma like asking yourself really what is it about him that's making you feel so bad about yourself.

Unholding good people when you are with them:

you are now with the guy he totally accepted it he's so cool with it. He honestly does not care at all that you have HIV, but you still do you're still struggling with it. you're still struggling with your diagnosis trying to cope with it and he's trying to help you but it's too much of a burden for him to help you and this isn't fair to him now because he's trying but there's only so much he can do it's your own mind that needs to change. you are the one that's in control of your own mindset and mental energy. you put into this when you're not able to accept it and someone's trying to help you to accept it that doesn't work.

 

It comes from within it doesn't come from someone telling you that you need to do this and why you should they can believe one thing but you can believe another thing and it's up to you to decide what you believe in and how you accept it and if you can accept it. this guy might be trying so hard over, but you don't listen to him at one point. it's gonna become so tense that he's so tired and can't do it anymore and he has to leave then you also close the door on a really great person. 

 

So do you see how not accepting your HIV status puts you in a situation where you're not allowing yourself to be loved and I want you to ask yourself are you really going to let this kind of insecurity stop you from finding someone who really cares about you? 

 

Unwantedly Holding bad people to take advantage of you:

The thing here is when you're not accepting your HIV status. you're also allowing yourself to be exposed to a lot of bad people who are unhealthy, and I don't want to use the word toxic but could be potentially toxic to your mentality.

For example, let's say you're with someone they're okay with your HIV status, and you know what you want to break up because it's the end of the road. you know it happens and this is the line they pull on you well good luck finding someone else who will actually take you for your HIV status that's heavy that's hard and the worst part is you actually believe them. it's true why would anyone else want you because of your HIV status. this person was so nice enough, and he's willing to be with you despite. you having HIV that's the wrong mentality right there no you let this person define what it means to be living with HIV, and he was able to do that because you weren't able to define it for yourself.

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